Values are morally neutral. There is no right or wrong, nor is there good or bad; there is only different. Stop judging yourself for your values even if they may be different from the values of those around you. By doing so, you will gain the ability to stop judging others. Only when judging is silenced will you be able to hear, with increasing clarity, the inner voice revealing to you what you really want to do with your life.

Personal values include anything from altruism to concern about personal appearance. They most typically include things like music, family, integrity, loyalty, health, and religion. They can be internal, interpersonal, or cultural. A value by itself does not become a purpose, but it forms the basis for the desires and passions that lead us to purpose. If you don’t value community service very highly, then feel free to decline to serve on committees. Don’t let neighbors talk you into being president of your Homeowners’ Association. As you become conscious of your values, the values clarification will give you strength to resist doing things that other people might think you should do but that bring you no sense of joy or satisfaction.

If you compromise your values, you lose your self-respect, which soon will be followed by your self-esteem. The only time you can compromise a value is for the sake of a higher value. For example, you might value both loyalty and truth, so when your boss asks you to do something deceitful, what do you do?

This actually happened to me. I lost a great position in a company because I would not sign my name to a document asserting what our sales had been because I knew that some of the products listed as being sold were actually sitting in a warehouse. That company had my loyalty; I had worked hard to make them successful. But I would not compromise my integrity by agreeing to this lie. Of course, top management really believed that I should be a team player and just sign the thing, but it was too much to ask. I would have felt dirty. There are lots of things worse than being fired from a great job.

If our Washington Politicans and Wall Street Executives would follow suit, we would not be facing this 1 Trillion dollar disaster, which grows by the minute!

Value conflicts are painful but rewarding because they drive you deeper into yourself to find your own truth.

Have you faced a similar situation lately? Have you stood up or compromised your values while making a decision? Please share your story!

The destination is not the ultimate aim. The joy comes from the journey. Purpose is bound up in the process.

Bon voyage!

Jim White, PhD
Author & Creator of What’s My Purpose?
www.whatsmypurpose.com

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 16th, 2008 at 1:20 pm and is filed under Finding Your Purpose, Passions and Purpose. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.